Friday, 25 October 2013

Ed Balls and Labours income tax proposals following yesterday's GDP figures.

Ah it is so good to hear Balls telling us that our standard of living is falling and what he is going to do after the next general election. Whilst he was in charge it was all wonderful, everything was done so well, families could rely on a good education for their children, safe hospitals, and all the other things they talk about. The fact that they did nothing good that has endured the test of time, is an irrelevance. they changed the landscape in every way and spent everything that's why he is proposing these new tax changes when he in power.

22 June 2015

To: All male taxpayers

From: Inland Revenue

Subject: Increased tax payments

Dear Mr Blog reader

The only thing the Inland Revenue has not taxed is your willy. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off, 20% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it is employed but operates in total darkness. Furthermore, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.

Accordingly. after July 1st 2015 your willy will be taxed based on its size using the 'Willy Checker Scale' below.

Determine your category and insert the additional tax under 'Other Taxes'

Part V, line 61

Willy Checker Scale
10-12 inchesLuxury Tax£50.00
8-10 inchesPole Tax£25.00
6-8 inchesPrivilege Tax£15.00
4-6 inchesNuisance Tax£5.00
Note Anyone under four inches is eligible for a refund. Do not apply for an extension. Males with willies in excess of twelve inches should file under. "Capital Gains"

Very. truly yours

Rubin J Cutchepecker

H M Inspector of taxes

Chancellor Balls
Why should this shallow man who did so much damage to this country be allowed on the box at every opportunity? Been there, done it, wrecked it, and was part of the most corrupt government and nothing was done to sort it.