Sunday, 1 March 2009

A poem for the Post Office workers who booed and jeered the PM yesterday.

Peter said this on Wednesday:

I must put these darling postal types at ease. And so, I'm singing. “Postman Peter, Postman Peter,” I trill, “Postman Peter, would you like a margarita?” I have invited a few of those staunch, balding fellows from the post unions over for a drinks party, you see, on a charm offensive. Nobody wants a margarita. “Beer, please,” says one.

Then Mandelson goes to war on Labour mail rebels on Saturday.

Peter came out fighting last night in the growing row over the Royal Mail sell-off, slapping down protests from Labour ministers and MPs, and accusing the postal union of dishonest "scare tactics" that could cost workers their pensions and even their jobs.

Mandelson's attack, widened the split between the government and the Communications Workers' Union, and at least 130 Labour MPs and two members of the cabinet who are opposed to partial privatisation.

Yesterday flash crash Gordon Brown backed Mandelson, telling Labour's policy forum that the huge pension deficit made outside investment imperative. Brown had been booed and jeered by more than 100 postal workers as he arrived in Bristol to give the forum's keynote speech.

So this poem is for all those postal workers who booed and jeered yesterday.

Who is that hero who saves parcels in distress;
A brave knight in pure white(ish) armour dressed,
Who speeds so fearlessly to a delivery address?
That's just the Kamikaze Courier from 10 Downing Street.
Who is that noble soul upon his trusty steed;
His visor closed against the urban battlefield of our main roads and of minors all at suicidal speed?
That's just the Kamikaze Courier from 10 Downing Street.
Who is that pillock who just wheelied from the lights, and cut between the old man and the pram on zebra stripes,Then swerved around that car that was still indicating Right? That's just the Kamikaze Courier from 10 Downing Street.
Who is that shit who passed the school at eighty-five, Who reached a ton and couldn't read the Slow Trucks Turning sign, Then hit the refuse truck as it reversed out of its drive?
That was the Kamikaze Courier from 10 Downing Street, now he's flattened.

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