It's kamikaze balls instead of kamikaze brown

Balls in 'fright' at the thought of losing power with his kamikaze leader.

'This is the worst recession for over 100 years'
This is the warning from kamikaze Balls, the kamikaze leaders closest ally, warns that downturn is ferocious and says impact will last 15 years, so much for the kamikaze leaders prediction that we are well placed to survive it.

Not a day goes by and some pundit or government minister or senior politician bleats about how bad the recession is and how much more horrible it's going to get. We don't need doom and gloom or panic from our leaders.

We need them to get their heads down and work out how we're going to come out the other side. We have a pretty clear idea now about what went wrong. Please, come in the conservatives, you know what to do, so please do it.

We need you to put it right and try to ensure we don't make the same mistakes again. So let's not have another property bubble and credit binge. And let's forget unsustainable shopping habits. As a country we lost the knack of paying our way in the world. We mortgaged the family silver for a lifestyle we couldn't really afford. Now we're paying the price.

This kamikaze leader and his government are clearly to blame. So once again for pity's sake call a general election.