22 June 2015
To: All male taxpayers
From: Inland Revenue
Subject: Increased tax payments
Dear Mr Blog reader
The only thing the Inland Revenue has not taxed is your willy. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off, 20% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it is employed but operates in total darkness. Furthermore, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Accordingly. after July 1st 2015 your willy will be taxed based on its size using the 'Willy Checker Scale' below.
Determine your category and insert the additional tax under 'Other Taxes'
Part V, line 61
Willy Checker Scale
10-12 inches | Luxury Tax | £50.00 |
8-10 inches | Pole Tax | £25.00 |
6-8 inches | Privilege Tax | £15.00 |
4-6 inches | Nuisance Tax | £5.00 |
Note Anyone under four inches is eligible for a refund. Do not apply for an extension. Males with willies in excess of twelve inches should file under. "Capital Gains"
Very. truly yours
Rubin J Cutchepecker
H M Inspector of taxes
Chancellor Balls
Why should this shallow man who did so much damage to this country be allowed on the box at every opportunity? Been there, done it, wrecked it, and was part of the most corrupt government and nothing was done to sort it.
Very. truly yours
Rubin J Cutchepecker
H M Inspector of taxes
Chancellor Balls
Why should this shallow man who did so much damage to this country be allowed on the box at every opportunity? Been there, done it, wrecked it, and was part of the most corrupt government and nothing was done to sort it.